Here's how to handle someone who is a nightmare to work with

[WORLD] In any workplace, you’re likely to encounter all sorts of personalities. Some are supportive, collaborative, and energizing, while others can make every project feel like a battleground. Dealing with someone who is a nightmare to work with can be draining, frustrating, and stressful. Whether they are overly critical, disorganized, manipulative, or just plain difficult, the impact they have on your mental well-being and productivity can be significant.

While it’s nearly impossible to avoid challenging colleagues completely, there are strategies you can employ to help manage these difficult relationships, stay productive, and preserve your sanity. Here’s how to deal with someone who’s a nightmare to work with, based on expert advice.

1. Stay Calm and Professional

When working with a difficult colleague, it’s crucial to maintain composure, even when emotions are running high. Reacting impulsively or emotionally can escalate the situation and make things worse. Instead, focus on staying calm and professional at all times.

"Keeping your cool and maintaining professionalism is key. Difficult people feed off emotional reactions, so try to remain composed, no matter how frustrating the situation gets," says workplace expert Dr. Lisa Brown in her recent article on dealing with difficult colleagues (source: Free Malaysia Today).

2. Set Clear Boundaries

One of the main challenges of working with a difficult person is their ability to overstep personal or professional boundaries. Whether they demand too much of your time, invade your personal space, or constantly undermine your ideas, it’s essential to set clear boundaries. Be assertive but respectful when communicating your limits.

"It’s important to establish boundaries early on and stick to them. If someone is constantly interrupting or overloading you with tasks, be firm in communicating when and how you can help," advises Brown.

3. Communicate Effectively and Tactfully

Often, difficult people thrive on misunderstanding or miscommunication. To reduce friction, ensure your communication is clear, concise, and respectful. Avoid ambiguity, and be transparent in your intentions.

"If there’s a potential for conflict, address it early with clear, respectful communication. Don’t let frustration build up. A calm, direct conversation can go a long way toward resolving misunderstandings before they spiral," Brown suggests.

Make sure to actively listen to their concerns as well. Acknowledging their perspective can defuse a lot of tension, even if you disagree with their approach. This helps foster a sense of mutual respect, even in difficult situations.

4. Understand Their Behavior

Understanding why a colleague behaves the way they do can provide valuable insights and help you respond more effectively. Difficult colleagues often have deeper motivations behind their actions, whether it’s stress, insecurity, or an attempt to cover up their own weaknesses.

"Sometimes, difficult colleagues may be acting out of fear, insecurity, or pressure from their own workload. Understanding where they’re coming from doesn’t mean you have to accept bad behavior, but it can give you a better way to approach the situation," Brown explains.

By empathizing with their perspective, you may find that your response can be more patient and understanding, which can ultimately lead to a smoother working relationship.

5. Don’t Take It Personally

This might be the hardest part, but it’s essential. A nightmare colleague’s behavior is often more about them than it is about you. It’s not a reflection of your skills, work ethic, or worth. Keeping this in mind helps you stay grounded and reduces the emotional impact of their actions.

"When dealing with someone difficult, remind yourself that their behavior isn’t a reflection of your personal abilities. It’s about their issues or the way they perceive the world," says Brown.

Understanding that their behavior is not a personal attack can make it easier to let go of any negative emotions and focus on your work.

6. Document Everything

If you’re dealing with a particularly challenging person who is constantly crossing professional boundaries, it may be useful to keep a record of interactions. This can be helpful if the situation escalates and you need to involve higher-ups or HR. Documenting key conversations, decisions, or problematic interactions provides a clear timeline and context for any issues that may arise later.

"In some cases, documenting problematic behaviors can protect you. It’s always wise to keep track of any key emails, conversations, or situations where things went wrong," suggests Brown.

Just be sure you’re not documenting in a way that makes the situation more adversarial. Your goal should be to maintain a factual, neutral record, not to escalate tensions.

7. Seek Support From Management or HR

If your attempts to handle the situation directly with the difficult person aren’t working, it may be time to escalate the issue. Approach your manager or HR department and share your concerns with concrete examples of the problem. Be professional in how you present the issue, focusing on how it affects your productivity and the overall team dynamic.

"If all else fails, don't hesitate to escalate the situation. Sometimes, management or HR needs to intervene to address persistent issues that can't be resolved between colleagues," Brown advises.

Your company should have resources and policies in place to address workplace conflicts, and they may be able to mediate or offer a solution you hadn't considered.

8. Use Stress-Relief Techniques

Working with a difficult person can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Therefore, it’s important to engage in self-care and stress-relief activities outside of work to ensure you’re staying balanced. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones are all excellent ways to decompress after a particularly challenging day.

"Taking care of yourself outside of work can make all the difference. Stress management techniques are crucial when dealing with difficult coworkers who may drain your energy or bring negativity to the workplace," Brown emphasizes.

By managing your stress, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges at work with a level head.

9. Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, there may come a time when it’s no longer possible to maintain a productive working relationship with a difficult colleague. If the person’s behavior becomes toxic or starts affecting your health, performance, or career progression, it may be time to distance yourself or even consider a transfer within the company.

"If you’ve tried everything and the situation hasn’t improved, it may be necessary to consider your long-term well-being. Your health and happiness should be a priority," Brown advises.

In some cases, finding a different team or role may be the most effective way to protect yourself from the ongoing strain of dealing with an intolerable colleague.

10. Focus on the Bigger Picture

Finally, keep the bigger picture in mind. Your goal is to maintain your professional integrity, contribute meaningfully to your team, and advance in your career. While dealing with a difficult person can be a challenge, it’s important not to let their behavior derail your goals. Keep your eyes on the prize and remember that your success depends on how well you handle adversity, not just how well things go when everything is running smoothly.

"Staying focused on your long-term objectives can help keep difficult people in perspective. It’s not about them; it’s about your career path and what you want to achieve," Brown concludes.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with someone who’s a nightmare to work with is never easy, but with the right strategies, you can navigate these relationships with greater ease. By staying calm, setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and understanding their behavior, you can minimize the impact of their actions on your productivity and peace of mind. If things escalate beyond your control, don’t hesitate to seek support from management or HR. And always remember that your mental and emotional health should remain a priority.

If all else fails, know that sometimes the best way forward may involve walking away. In the end, your happiness, career, and well-being matter more than any difficult colleague.