The unintentional bad boss: Recognizing and improving leadership blind spots

You probably wouldn't be surprised to learn that nearly all professionals have had a poor employer at some point in their careers. But what if I told you that, as a leader, you've likely been a lousy boss? I don't blame you for being astonished. The bulk of us simply don't recognize when we're doing things incorrectly, therefore our poor leadership is unintended.

The concept of unintentional poor leadership is not new, but it has gained increased attention in recent years as workplace dynamics evolve. A study by the Harvard Business Review found that 58% of people trust strangers more than their own boss. This startling statistic highlights the widespread nature of leadership issues in the modern workplace. It's crucial to understand that being a bad boss isn't always about malicious intent; often, it's a result of lack of awareness, insufficient training, or misaligned expectations.

I've previously written about how this happened to me, but allow me to offer a story from the opposite side of the boss-employee dynamic. Since the anecdote was provided in confidence, let's call the employee "Pat" and their supervisor "Sam." Sam was a terrible supervisor, often making unrealistic expectations and treating Pat in an unprofessional and unpleasant manner. Pat finally decided to leave from the company and inform the HR department about Sam's treatment. Pat ran again Sam a few years later at a conference and was shocked when they approached him to apologize. Sam explained that they had not intended to be so terrible and were utterly oblivious of the pain they had caused. In reality, Sam had burst into tears when the HR team presented Pat's evaluation.

Why is this happening? How can leaders get it so wrong that they unwittingly harm their employees and the business? Here are the three most common explanations.

We do not fully comprehend our employees' needs.

As managers, we frequently manage and lead a varied team of people. They have varying requirements, including what they expect from you. So, while your leadership style makes you an excellent boss for one person, those same behaviors may not fully satisfy the needs of another team member.

I previously managed someone whose working approach was extremely similar to mine. To them, I was an excellent boss. Then I hired three new employees who were significantly different from me and each other. According to the Insights Discovery personality system, one was a Helper, another an Inspirer, and the third an Observer. The Helper and Inspirer wanted me to be engaging and involved, yet the spectator desired precision and objectivity. However, I did not adjust my management technique or style to better satisfy their needs. To them, I was an unintended horrible boss.

Being a successful boss necessitates recognizing and accommodating your employees' specific and distinct requirements. You must provide the type of assistance that enables each individual to attain their full potential.

This challenge of understanding and meeting diverse employee needs is further complicated by the increasing generational diversity in the workplace. With up to five generations now working side by side, leaders must navigate a complex landscape of varying expectations, work styles, and communication preferences. For instance, while Baby Boomers might appreciate more traditional, hierarchical leadership structures, Millennials and Gen Z often seek more collaborative, mentorship-based relationships with their superiors. Failing to recognize and adapt to these generational differences can inadvertently lead to dissatisfaction and poor performance across the team.

We do not always have the appropriate skills.

Being a leader these days is difficult, and it is only getting worse. Whether it's managing people with different work arrangements (e.g., remote, hybrid, fractional) or navigating the new world of AI, being a great boss requires a diverse set of abilities. Communication, empathy, and honesty are as important as ever. Newer generations of workers expect and demand leaders to have these skills because they grew up in the internet age, where determining the truth against lies is as simple as clicking a link.

Many of us have yet to learn or master these new talents. This is evident in the prevalence of a certain type of terrible boss known as the Avoider, which 80% of individuals have experienced, according to my company's 2023 terrible Boss Survey Report (click to download). This leader does not know how to be there for their employees, and their avoidance hinders them from providing the time, attention, and feedback that team members require to execute their tasks and feel appreciated. While this is not the leader's aim, staff may begin to feel overlooked, abandoned, stressed, or burned out.

To effectively manage your team, you must acquire these new abilities rather than relying on outdated procedures and approaches.

We are not entirely aware of our impact.

Finally, one typical reason for being an unintentionally awful boss is a lack of awareness of the impact we have on our colleagues. This is something my co-author and I discussed in depth in our book Bad Bosses Ruin Lives: The Building Blocks for Being a Great Boss, in which we outline the impact and consequences of their behavior for each of our ten types of bad bosses.

For example, 80% of survey respondents reported having a micromanager supervisor. These executives typically slow their teams down since employees can't get tasks done without going through their leader. Employee morale suffers as a result of this conduct because they believe they have been denied the opportunity to think and act freely, and the perception that their supervisor does not trust them typically demotivates them. Micromanagement can also impede or limit staff development by eliminating opportunities for hands-on learning, experimentation, and learning from mistakes.

As a leader, you must be aware of the impact you have on your team, both positive and negative. Learn about your negative behaviors and how to avoid them.

The ripple effect of poor leadership extends far beyond individual employee experiences. Research from Gallup indicates that managers account for at least 70% of the variance in employee engagement scores across business units. This means that a single bad boss can significantly impact not just their immediate team, but the overall organizational culture and performance. Furthermore, the cost of disengagement is staggering, with estimates suggesting that actively disengaged employees cost the U.S. up to $550 billion per year in lost productivity. These figures underscore the critical importance of self-awareness and continuous improvement for leaders at all levels.

I invite you to explore the dangers of being an unintentionally awful boss. Understand your employees' needs and act on them. Commit to learning the skills necessary in this new world of work. Understand the impact of your actions so that you can prevent the consequences for your employees and business. If you do this, you'll be well on your way to becoming the outstanding boss your employees expect of you.

The journey to becoming an exceptional leader is ongoing and requires constant self-reflection and adaptation. One effective strategy is to implement regular feedback loops, such as 360-degree reviews or anonymous suggestion boxes, to gain insights into your leadership style and its impact. Additionally, investing in leadership development programs and seeking mentorship from seasoned executives can provide valuable perspectives and tools for improvement. Remember, the most respected leaders are those who demonstrate humility, acknowledge their mistakes, and show a genuine commitment to growth – both for themselves and their teams.