Are credit card rewards turning us into selfish spenders?

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  • The pursuit of credit card rewards can create social tensions and strain relationships.
  • Competing to pay for group expenses to earn rewards can lead to resentment and conflict.
  • Being transparent and considerate about your intentions can help mitigate potential issues.

Credit card rewards have long been a beloved perk for savvy consumers, offering benefits like cash back, travel points, and exclusive discounts. However, the pursuit of these rewards can sometimes lead to unintended social consequences, turning generous gestures into sources of conflict and resentment.

Pam, a San Francisco resident, shared her frustration with a friend who insists on paying for all group expenses with his credit card. While this might seem generous, Pam finds it bothersome because it forces her to constantly use apps like Splitwise or Venmo to reimburse him. "I overheard this person say that, 'Oh, with all of this spend on my credit card, I get 5% off this or 20% off that.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, so this is just benefiting you,'" Pam explained. This situation highlights a growing trend where individuals prioritize their credit card rewards over the convenience and comfort of their friends.

A recent Ipsos poll found that 71% of Americans have some form of rewards, points, or cash-back card, and 80% of those cardholders value their rewards highly. This widespread enthusiasm for rewards can lead to awkward situations where friends and family members compete to pay for shared expenses, hoping to maximize their points. Matt Schulz, the chief credit analyst at LendingTree, noted, "It's an awkward thing, and you just don't want to be that person who makes things uncomfortable over something like credit-card rewards".

The obsession with credit card rewards can also strain romantic relationships. Matt, a pseudonym from Alaska, became deeply invested in maximizing his rewards, much to the frustration of his wife. Their differing attitudes towards credit card usage led to a significant disagreement when planning a trip, ultimately costing them more money and causing unnecessary stress. "We lost the rooms and things that she booked, and we ended up paying more. And for what? We got like 2% back on the whole deal," Matt lamented.

Even in less intimate settings, the pursuit of rewards can create tension. Jen, from Chicago, often pays for group expenses to rack up points, but this habit occasionally leads to disputes. During a dinner with friends, Jen and another friend both wanted to use their cards to earn points, resulting in a compromise where they split the bill. Their third friend, who didn't care about rewards, ended up with no benefit for her trouble.

These scenarios illustrate how credit card rewards can complicate social interactions and create friction among friends and family. The constant need to track reimbursements and ensure fair distribution of expenses can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. As Emily Thompson, a credit-cards editor at The Points Guy, pointed out, "It is more work to chase down all of the payments, and so I think you have to decide for yourself what is the value of the rewards that you're going to earn by putting this on your card. And is that worth the time and energy?"

The financial incentives offered by credit card companies are designed to encourage spending, but they can also lead to negative outcomes. A CreditCards.com survey found that 59% of respondents who had lent money or paid for a group expense with the expectation of being repaid experienced issues, with 42% losing money and 26% damaging their relationships as a result.

Ultimately, while credit card rewards can be a valuable benefit, it's important to consider the potential social costs. Being upfront about your intentions and ensuring that everyone is comfortable with the arrangement can help mitigate conflicts. However, it's crucial to recognize that the pursuit of rewards should not come at the expense of your relationships.


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