Helping kids build resilience through independent problem-solving

[WORLD] In an era of hyper-parenting and constant oversight, experts are increasingly advocating for a different approach to raising resilient children: giving them space to solve their own problems. Psychologists and educators argue that while parental involvement is important, stepping back at key moments can help children build essential life skills such as critical thinking, emotional regulation, and perseverance.

Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, a child and adolescent psychologist, explains that problem-solving is a skill best learned through experience. “When parents jump in to fix everything, they deprive kids of the opportunity to struggle and then succeed on their own,” Hartstein said. “That moment of triumph—no matter how small—builds internal strength.”

A growing body of research supports this approach. Studies from institutions such as the University of Cambridge and Stanford University have found that children who are encouraged to tackle everyday obstacles independently tend to display higher levels of emotional intelligence, adaptability, and academic performance. These children are also less likely to experience anxiety when confronted with future challenges, thanks to the self-confidence that comes from mastering difficulties on their own.

This philosophy is beginning to influence parenting styles across the U.S. Terms like “free-range parenting” and “Panda Parenting” have entered the mainstream, emphasizing the importance of balanced independence over micromanagement. In practice, this can be as simple as letting a child decide how to spend their free time, resolve a peer conflict without adult mediation, or figure out how to fix a toy rather than immediately replacing it.

Educators, too, are taking notice. Many schools are integrating social-emotional learning (SEL) programs that place a heavy emphasis on independence and self-directed problem-solving. At the Meadowbrook Elementary School in Massachusetts, teachers incorporate open-ended group projects and peer-led conflict resolution activities designed to build student autonomy. “The goal isn’t to leave them entirely on their own,” said Principal Rosa Carrillo. “It’s to teach them how to assess a situation, make a plan, and adapt—all under supportive guidance.”

The shift isn’t without its critics. Some parents worry that giving children too much freedom too early could lead to feelings of abandonment or overwhelm. However, proponents argue that the key lies in measured autonomy: stepping back just enough to allow growth while remaining available for support. “It’s not about letting kids sink or swim,” said Hartstein. “It’s about teaching them how to paddle while standing right by the edge of the pool.”

Cultural differences also play a role in how societies view children’s independence. In countries like Japan and Finland, it is common for young children to run errands or walk to school alone—practices that reflect societal trust in children’s capabilities. In contrast, American parents often face social and legal pressures to remain overly involved, even when such involvement may hinder their child’s growth.

In response to these concerns, some advocacy groups are pushing for legal reforms that support parental discretion in allowing children more independence. The “Reasonable Childhood Independence” legislation, which has gained traction in several U.S. states, aims to clarify that allowing children to engage in age-appropriate independence—such as walking to a park or staying home briefly—is not grounds for neglect.

As children face an increasingly complex world filled with digital distractions, academic pressures, and social challenges, experts agree that resilience is more important than ever. And while no one parenting approach fits all families, giving kids the space to struggle, stumble, and ultimately succeed may be the key to preparing them for whatever comes next.

“When we solve everything for them, we rob them of the chance to discover how capable they really are,” Hartstein said. “Letting them try—and even fail—is one of the greatest gifts we can give.”