Microcheating and its impact on relationships

[WORLD] Like a coworker's photo on social media. Sending them direct messages. Checking in on Slack more frequently than before. Progressively connecting in this manner with someone outside your partnership may not be a huge concern to you. To your significant other, however, it may be microcheating, which some people regard as a kind of infidelity because it involves creating a bond one heart emoji at a time.

Although pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable in a relationship is not a new concept, it has become more widespread with the advent of remote employment, according to William Schroeder, a therapist and owner of Just Mind Counselling centers in Austin, Texas.

Microcheating has become a buzzword in the modern dating and relationship landscape, yet many people still struggle to define it and understand its implications. Defined as seemingly small or subtle actions that may be perceived as emotional or physical infidelity, microcheating can lead to significant relationship issues if left unchecked. In this article, experts weigh in on what microcheating is, how to identify it, and whether or not you might be unknowingly engaging in behaviors that could hurt your relationship.

While they may seem harmless, these behaviors can erode trust over time, leading to larger issues in a relationship. Unlike traditional cheating, which often involves a clear betrayal of physical intimacy, microcheating typically revolves around emotional boundaries and digital interactions.

Experts Weigh In: The Impact on Relationships

Relationship experts argue that microcheating is more common than many people realize, with some citing it as a growing issue due to the rise of social media and digital communication. Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex and relationship therapist, explains that microcheating often starts innocently enough but can quickly spiral into emotional infidelity. “When one partner begins to engage in secretive or flirtatious behavior, even online, it can create a sense of betrayal,” says Berman.

For many people, the problem lies in how these actions are perceived by their partner. What might feel innocent to one person may be seen as a breach of trust by another. Dr. Berman emphasizes the importance of setting clear boundaries in a relationship to avoid these gray areas. “Communication is key to understanding each other's boundaries and expectations around what is considered acceptable behavior,” she adds.

Examples of Microcheating

Some common behaviors considered microcheating include:

Flirting with others: Sending flirty messages or engaging in playful banter with someone outside the relationship can create emotional intimacy that feels like a betrayal.

Secretive texting or DMing: Texting someone of the opposite sex in secret, or keeping conversations hidden, can be a sign of emotional infidelity.

Emotional attachment to someone else: Developing a strong emotional connection with someone outside the relationship—whether through sharing personal thoughts, secrets, or feelings—can be just as damaging as physical cheating.

Spending time with an ex: Meeting up with an ex without informing your partner or downplaying the interaction is often seen as microcheating, especially if the encounter is kept secret.

Engaging in online flirting: Liking, commenting on, or messaging attractive people on social media in a flirtatious way can cross the line into microcheating.

How to Prevent Microcheating

The key to preventing microcheating is proactive communication. Both partners need to discuss what behaviors are acceptable and which ones may cross a line. Setting clear boundaries, regularly checking in with each other about feelings, and practicing transparency can help foster trust and reduce the likelihood of microcheating.

Experts recommend being aware of your own emotional needs and understanding how they might affect your actions. If you feel the need to connect with someone outside your relationship emotionally or physically, it’s a sign to evaluate the state of your current relationship. Are there unmet needs? Is there room for improvement in communication or emotional connection?

Should You Worry About Microcheating?

While microcheating is often less overt than traditional infidelity, it still carries emotional consequences. For some couples, it can be a wake-up call to reexamine the relationship’s boundaries and level of trust. For others, it may signal deeper issues that need to be addressed, such as emotional disconnection or unmet intimacy needs.

Ultimately, whether or not microcheating is problematic depends on the expectations of both partners in the relationship. Open communication, understanding, and respect for each other’s boundaries are the best ways to navigate this gray area and avoid missteps.